I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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