I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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