If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
