What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
