Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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