try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize