the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
My vagina is very pro this idea
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
