I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
