try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
