That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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