I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize