Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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