Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
