Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
