we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
