Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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