Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm sobbing to NWA
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
