Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
