i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
