We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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