I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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