you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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