Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
