chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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