the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just high enough for therapy.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
