we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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