it wasn't lemon gatorade
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
