it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
