i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize