she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
