party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
