"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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