I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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