Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
