yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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