So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
