we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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