its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
