i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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