rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
there is puke in my bra ... again
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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