I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
