you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
