Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
