u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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