i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
