ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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