he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
