Apparently you make a good broom.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
