dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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