Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
