no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
