if you like me you must not know who I am
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize