glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
