But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
