so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Dick very happy bro
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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