Already got asked if we're dating
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
