i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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