what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm bleeding and have questions
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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