Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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