the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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