well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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