remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Even my vagina gasped.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
