the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
