She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
