Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
